True Love!!

True Love!!

A just whisper in the night

Calling my name

When I woke to the sound...

I was alone again

Was it Love in the first place?

I was being Wrapped in her arms

The moment we met

But when I woke...

It was only the sheets

Oh sweet, painful memories

Torture me more

Make me feel

What I once felt before...

Was it True Love or Just Passion or was it mine playing tricks on me?

Love is enough!

The passions which are called love

also change everything to a newness

at first.

Passion is clearly the path

but does not bring us to love.

It opens the castle of our spirit

so that we might find the love which is

a mystery hidden there.

Love is one of many great fires.

Passion is a fire made of many woods,

each of which gives off its special odor

so we can know the many kinds

that are not love.

Desire perishes

because it tries to be love.

I know this ....u ask hOW?

I dreamed of a love

a love so true...

Have you ever loved somebody so much

that it hurts ???

that you cant sleep???

that didn't no that you exist??

who don't feel the same???

who's in love with another person??

who don't even no you love them so very much??

Have you ever.

I did...

Why was I afraid to lose her when she was not even mine.?

She was gone,

And without her there,

I don’t see the point,

I don’t bother to care.

But Was this True Love or just wounded lust of Passion

She just left,

Just like that,

Did I do something wrong?

Please enlighten me to that fact.

Was my love for her not true enough?

Now there was no us,

Just a I and her,

She didn’t think it’d affect me,

Did she even think it through?

I was on my tired knees

Made and pleaded for a wish

Swollen eyes soaked in tears

Wished that I did not exist

I search in the dark

To find that key

That triggers the spark

She had put in me

My life was a bad joke

An egg without a yolk

An ugly beast in amok

Underneath the black cloak

But Old love may die;

new love is just as sweet;

True love comes only once in a lifetime

yet it lasts an eternity

It has the power to crush someone so deeply

while at the same time they know

there’s no one else in the world they’d rather be with

True love will knock down the walls of difficulty

to be with that special one

It will take your hand and fly over the world

into a place where there’s no pain, no tears

True love will withstand the test of time,

forever waiting until its love is returned

It never fails, never dies, never lets go of the one they love,

You ask me how do i know this?

Well...

Then she came along

A Woman ,a Goddess

Telling me I’m not alone

That for me there is a home

My doomed journey ends

Path to self-destruction’s gone

She healed my soul and cleanse

With the touch of her hands

wAS this Love and if it was was it True Enough ?

Awhile, I’m on my knees again

This time, I am more of a man

Beside me, a woman in gown

One with the passionate tone

When the sweet glance of her true love caught my eyes,

Like alchemy, it transformed my copper-like soul.

I searched for her with a thousand hands,

She stretched out Her arms and clutched my feet.

I want her to see

That my love is true

Even though we can't be for i was confused still

I still hold my true love for you.

You're the one I see

When the sun breaks through the sky

Warm so gently comforting

Beauty emblazoned in my eyes.

You're the one I feel

Ever running through my mind

Calm as you envelope me

Pay no heed to time.

YOU're the one I hear

At the close of everyday

Shadows whispering to the night

Heart safely whisked away.

With every kiss that you give to me,

I am reminded of how much I love you

With every look you give me,

I realize no one could love me the same

was this True love a dream come True?

To hear your voice is cherry wine to me:

I draw life from hearing it.

Could I see you with every glance,

It would be better for me

Than to eat or to drink.

My heart to you is given:

With every single hug,

I know there is no need for tears

With every single word,

I’m right where I belong

But the feeling was it just passion rotting on dried leaves?

But i felt different this time

With every single memory of you,

I see how God was setting us up

With every waking moment,

I think of you nonstop

With every step I take,

I know its one step closer to that special day

With every breath I take,

I feel you drawing nearer

wITH every thought of u takes me by a minute,

While I’m here with you.

I’m falling even more in love,

With everything you do.

With every thought of you,

I realize how madly in love I am with you

With every single action,

I can see my future

She showed me what True Love is...

iT is When your chest is free of your limiting ego,

Then you will see the ageless Beloved.

You can not see yourself without a mirror;

Look at the Beloved, she is the brightest mirror

wHEN The starred eternal worm

Girds the world with bound and term;

Where unlike things are like,

When good and ill,

And joy and moan,

Melt into one.

This is when and where how my heart found its True Love till this very dawn...

Losing my virginity again!!!

Love and desire have given way to a much darker hell.

Little remains now of my former self,

For the poison of life and its foul ways, have taken their toll again,

I do it again

drink my sorrows away

and feel myself as I was when I was a virgin again

I got lost in a woken dream

As I daze and swim through the beauty

And look at the painting as

Things should be

Days pass , My heart goes out.

As my tears thickened in an endless pout.

Question after question I tend to ask,

When would I remove my dark veiled mask?

Now nothing, no not anything is the same

Hundreds of headlights whip past me

Leaving nothing but tails of fading light

And they're leaving me behind

i try to run after them but no avail

I remember how it felt to be innocent...

And I'd kill to feel it again

I feel something inside me lurking

and it controls me inside and out.

I can feel the change in me

Making me bring my fear out.

I don't know what it is or how it's happening

but i just wanna tear someone's fucking head off,

or leave them bleeding till their languish takes them out.

Ahh..Indeed... What a bliss it is to lie in cold obstruction and to rot;

This sensible warm motion to become

A kneaded clod; and the delighted spirit

T0 bathe in fiery chasm of chaos, or to reside

In thrilling region of thick life freezing ice

I scare people so much more

people quiver when they see me

ahh i love it ..

They fear of death and i love all the way more..

Their scent

Their sweat

Their emotions

Tainted with fear

Fear OF ME fear OF Death itself...

The creature within me has given me everything

but i still somewhat feel the real me trying to tell

me that i need to get rid of the creature inside me.

The old me is saying that i've forgot who i am or was

i need to let go of the new me or i will be gone forever,

people will no longer talk to me and I will harm people

i dont want to hurt,

people i love will suffer because i didn't change

It feels like my sense of sanity has been torn from me

It 've taken my hand and led me to the doors of despair

I am like a fool having followed and kissed myself goodbye

Who was to be blamed??

I ,it or them

This beautiful face of innocence

now blemished in this surreal sky of fools

As I sit in this forlorn world

Only the rats and spiders to befriend

Despicable things always to be seen

Is this how i meet my end?

I look out this torn window and see the storm,

All the noise and all the rain.

A replica of my old life in it's exact form,

Going from sunny and hopeful to dismal and gray.

I run from myself,

And into the raging storm.

I stand in the rain,

Hoping to wash away the creature inside me.

The thunder cracks,

And shakes my soul.

The lightning smacks,

And leaves a hole.

But the taste of the blood and the dark makes me feel cold

As slow,y and steadily the rust corrodes every fibre of my being

Like a acid that burns and eats through putrid flesh.

Half of myself remains hidden,

Untainted by the corruption

This light I hide,

It lingers in my soul

In my heart

Lies such an empty hole

My thoughts and feelings unacceptable,

My tears cried.

Hate for everything and everyone I love

Hate towards myself grows stronger

I am my worst enemy

I understand myself no longer

Each day I fight a silent battle

With the reflection in the mirror

I hate myself

Each day it becomes a little more severe

I sit and cry,

Silently I shout

I go numb inside,

I need to let it out

But instead I let myself sit here…

I let my numbness burn into rage…and fade into sorrow…

I don't look in the mirror as I pass. My eyes dripping with tears,

I cant take life now, I cant take my fears… I cant take myself

Time shall heal me.

My corruption

My hatred

My Lust

and make me whole again

Because i am what i am

I know its too late to run or hide..

As I have lost my virginity for good

But as i sit in darkness..

I feel the light

Whispering to me

Feeling me

healing me

Slowly but steadily

An inner battle rages on between the inner and my outer self

My whole being is praying that someday they will meet!

But atlast i hear the voice of a kindred soul

A voice which i had longed to hear all these years

I wanted to run away from this voice

But im just another cause of my pain

I make myself sick

But i Realise this..

The one who shelter from the storm,

One who keeps me warm,

My Solace from a world out of control

I find the peace I’ve lost,

the gain for all my cost

WAS inside me all long.

My own kindred soul

I was born again with a new purpose..

A new vigour

A new leash of life which i held on more dear

But alas ,I can never just give myself up

I have and had to find that spark again ,the creature within

As it hungers again

To ignite that fire once more

As for the time being am left alone with my true soul

But i am afraid very afraid for the creature that lurks inside may rise up again,,

AND MAKE ME LOSE MY virginity again!!!!